A beat-up old laboratory notebook. The first portion contains what look like actual lab notes, scrawled in thigh handwriting and often very complex. The second is a diary or journal written in what is clearly different handwriting.
Dear diary,
Today was super crazy. So, the bank I went to to gash that check got robbed. I was a hostage and everything. I…uh, kinda tried to fight back and got shot for my trouble. Getting shot freaking hurts ;-; Some of the other people there started doing stuff too after that, though. This one guy has some crazy like, power armor or something. Anyway, we beat the bad guys, and ran into some lady who was really pink and said she was invincible or something. Took forever to beat her down and I think we kinda did it by smashing her through the floor? Also someone drove a motorcycle through a door at her. Even though he got the motorcycle from the getaway truck. It’s uh, like he can teleport or something. Some big wad of keys, I think. I dunno, it’s weird ,even if I’ve followed him through some weird door dimension. Anyway, she ended up smashed into the floor and totally spilling the beans, so we dedied we had to keep going and foil whatever nefarious plot was going on, and oh man, does it just get crazier from there.
We end up in some warehouse and there’s some kinda weird deal going down. And, like, i was hiding but the guy on the other end of the TV somehow knew I was there? I don’t even get that, it’s too weird. He sics some kinda gross monsters on us. Oh yeah, and i get shot again. Today really sucked for that. My outfit’s totally ruined. So much blood, and probably some other stuff. And I lost my gum. Fuckin’ sucks. Anyway, we beat up the monsters, and the TV guy apparently knows me? So he helpd us becuase he didn’t care, got his money or something. I dunno. Told me to ask about his name: Hasegawa? Something like that. Haven’t yet, pretty sure I’m gonna get yelled at when I do. Anyway, we got some address from him, so Turner, the one guy with the keys goes somewhere and comes back with soem boxes and uniforms. Pretty glad he did, I didn’t have a change of clothes and walking around covered in blood would probably be too obvious.
So, we go through that door place again and end up in some kinda creepy cult building? I dunno, it was kinda weird. Took one of their pamphlets to be nice, but it was really weird stuff. Then we kinda talk our way into the place with the stuff, and like, some stuff happens and we end up talking with the guy who owns the building. I think he didn’t believe us at first, but we kinda proved there was some weird shit going on. Apparently the thing we were worried about is like, aerosol caffeine or something? Wish I had some of that for doing my homework. Anyway, is also apparently had a sort of binary…thing to it? I dunno, I didn’t get any of the science stuff, it was weird. Tracked down the receptionist lady who wasn’t supposed to be there only to find her dead and someone had drawn these freaky-ass magic circles and stuff in her blood. It was really gross.
So that one chick made some kinda thing with a knife and we ended up at a cave with some crazy ancient vault door? And a ton of traps. Traps suck. I got chopped apart. Thank god my phone somehow made it out. And it’s some sorta monster trapped by the ancients or something that the rest of the project’s probably gonna want to hear about. We beat it, and I ate it…sorta? I dunno, it’s weird, just started acting like any other part of me. Well, whatever, moved on and ran into some kinda death wall projector and the adults started talking to it. Blah blah, sounded like some sort of future thing or something. I forget the details, but it was, like, supposed to stop some disaster from happening or something and we convinced it that we were gonna help it do that. Whatever, we get past it and find some dude in a bit chamber with crazy moving stonehenge things and all kinds of fancy runes and glowing shit.
We beat up the bad guy, Got some pictures of him for all the good that’ll do, but you know, evidence and stuff? Looked military of some sort. But he did open some weird portal thing. Turner got sucked in and I followed him while the other two argued about what to do (bet they’re just chicken). Ended up in some weird colorless place with some kinda giant slenderman grim reaper or something. It was doing whatever it’s supposed to, I guess, and we kinda ended up taking some sort of glowing ball from there. I did ask first, and didn’t get a reply, so it must be ok. I was gonna keep it for a really cool paperweight to show off to my friends, but the boring jerks from the lab said they needed to study it and took it away.
And that’s why I’m grounded until further notice.
X day, X month 20XX
Dear Diary,
So, that guy with the ball of keys got in some real trouble and I had to help him out. The other guys were there too, of course. But, like, the dude robbed a bank except he totally didn’t so he was framed or some crap. Of course, first we had to get him out of jail, which was kinda easier because it involved fighting some sorta snake monster that used to be the door to his cell. I’m not sure what caused that, though in hindsight, I think it was probably crazy magic. Oh yeah, magic’s real. Shizuka’s gonna be so totally jealous.
Actually got her to help a little. She recognized some symbol we found at the scene of the crime as belonging to some demon. So that’s how the guy got framed. A goddamn demon. Couldn’t have been him anyway. The hairs and stuff at the crime scene weren’t quite right. It was a pretty subtle difference, though, so it probably would fool most people.
So yeah, Shizuka also told me where we could, like, get more imformation on magic stuff, which turned out to be some crazy dump of a shop in a warehouse. Except it did have real proper magic stuff, too. …Bet she never knew that :3 The adults got some dirt on who the demon was and stuff. And then we left and, uh, summoned a demon. Like, a weaker one, but a demon. No clue what she’s doing now, but I think other than giving us info, she was supposed to stay put somewhere. But we learned who to go after and who the bad guy was, and that he’s like, crazy old wizard with all kinds of crazy shit and buys land with leylines or some crap.
We tried to get to his stronghold place with the keys like usual and that totally backfired and we got captured. But then we all got out and it was cool. We had to go through some traps and stuff. And the spider lady did something to a big fancy machine that I think was gathering a shit-ton of mana or something (whatever it was, would burn you to a crisp if you were dumb enough to stand in it). Everyone was really worried about, like, blowing up England or some crap if they messed with it too much, though. So, we get to the guy’s office, and cut a deal with the demon who framed Turner, and I think that was it. We got caught trying to leave and the wizard dude tried to summon something. And I think he got something else, which was a bunch of crazy bitey moths that shot friggin’ laser beams. Magic’s weird. Made the spider lady flip her shit, though. The fancy diamond that got stolen also turned into an ice golem thing, and when we killed that, everything disappeared. The moths kinda ate most of the castle we were in, though.
We did clear Turner’s name, fortunately. Not quite sure how that all worked out, but not complaining. Stuff ended fine. And I got to sneak off to England for like, half a day.
